Are You the Black Sheep of the Family?
The least of these is something or someone of the lowest importance, strength, value, etc. That was who “they” made me be, but not who I chose to define me.
From my first breath, my life was set before me at the hands of fate, with years of believing who they rendered me to be. I became the epitome of a worthless life. An outcast judged by the drinking, drugging, dangerous decisions, and drama I allowed. Unconscious choices based on my circumstances kept me on the path of destruction and despair. I never asked myself why. I just believed them.
Based on belief systems, I became the black sheep of the family—the one they looked down on, the outcast, ostracized, ridiculed, and judged by the people who were supposed to love me. Was my life misunderstood? Or was it the scapegoat to defer the truth?
In recent months a significant reversal has occurred—the one not chosen by any of them but by a personal decision. With a grateful heart, I thank the God of the Universe for their guidance, Love, and Divine direction. The “least of these” chose to forgive. I consciously decided to step up and emerge into their lives during their time of need, knowing it was the lion’s den.
Suddenly what they did to me was not the worst part of my journey. It is walking alongside those I loved the most, witnessing firsthand the results of their denial, the debilitating physical and mental effects of not being willing to acknowledge the truth and heal. These are the most heartbreaking moments in time for me.
Not from the belief system of revenge, judgment, or payback. But from a heart full of love, forgiveness, and compassion. I still remember the harm of each of them. But from my healed self that could love me when nobody else could, I chose to love them and do what was right despite what was. Walking alongside the valley of the shadow of what could be death for some, here I am.
For the first time in my life, they no longer judge me by how I live my life. They do not see my finances, bank account, retirement plan, gypsy lifestyle, home in a 5th wheel, or any other choices I make. They see my core being, my light, and my love.
The significant reversal is; that I am no longer the least of these but vindicated. I am now the one each depends on and trusts for guidance and help. I believe that where much is given, much is expected, and I do not take the responsibility of doing what is right lightly. I do it with the utmost love, care, and respect for myself and each one of them. Knowing the same would not be done for me. That is what healing within is, true love without conditions.
I understand why humans choose denial over facing the truth head-on. It is a painful process and takes much effort. But when you witness firsthand the extreme differences between an emotionally healed person and one in denial, you cannot help but be thankful that you started asking yourself why. Discovering the truth was a painful and exhausting journey but one of the most rewarding.
I found my voice during the process and am no longer afraid to speak up. I am equipped and able to set healthy boundaries and, better yet, love myself for who I am and am thankful to be me, the black sheep.